What if God used voice mail?

23 Aug

One week ago, I preached on Paul’s prayer in Colossians 1:9-14 as I was wrapping up a series on 40 Days of Prayer for Outreach. I began the sermon with the following story:

What if God had voice Mail? We have all learned to live with voice mail as a necessary part of modern life. But you may have wondered, “What if God decided to install voice mail?”

Imagine praying and hearing this . . . “Thank you for calling My Father’s House. Please select one of the following options:

Press 1 for requests.

Press 2 for thanksgiving

Press 3 for complaints.

Press 4 for all other inquiries.”

What if God used the familiar excuse. . . “All the angels are helping other customers right now. Please stay on the line. Your call will be answered in the order it was received.”

If you would like to speak to Gabriel, Press 1.

For Michael, Press 2.

For a directory of other angels, Press 3.

If you’d like to hear King David sing a Psalm while you’re on hold, Press 4.

To find out if a loved one has been assigned to Heaven, enter his or her social security number then Press 5.

For reservations at My Father’s House, Press the letters J-O-H-N-3-1-6.

For answers to nagging questions about dinosaurs, the age of the earth, and where Noah’s ark is, then please wait until you arrive here.”

“Our computers show that you have already called once today. Please hang up and try again tomorrow.”

“This office is closed for the week-end. Please call again on Monday after 9:00 A.M.”

 (Author unknown. Wit & Wisdom – June 26, 1998)

I closed the illustration and transitioned into the message by reading Psalm 116:1-2, which is one of my favorite verses on prayer.

“I love the Lord, because he has heard my voice and my pleas for mercy. Because he inclined his ear to me, therefore I will call on him as long as I live.”

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Posted by on August 23, 2010 in Fun, Prayer


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