Ok, I will admit that climbing up a wet roof in the rain, twice, is possibly not one of the smarter things I’ve ever done. But when I found the chimney cap on the ground instead of on the chimney, what choice did I have? I could either assert my manhood and risk life and limb or wait for a sunny dry day (like next August) and let the rain come down the chimney into the house. Risk my neck or let the house defend itself? Which is worth more–me or the house? You can guess which choice won out. Probably a good thing my wife was at work.
Monthly Archives: October 2010
A little humor to start the week, courtesy of one of my humor consultants (friends who send me jokes).
1. How Do You Catch a Unique Rabbit? Unique Up On It.
2. How Do You Catch a Tame Rabbit? Tame Way.
3. How Do Crazy People Go Through The Forest? They Take The Psychopath
4. How Do You Get Holy Water? You Boil The Hell Out Of It
5. What Do Fish Say When They Hit a Concrete Wall? Dam!
6. What Do Eskimos Get From Sitting On The Ice too Long? Polaroids
7. What Do You Call a Boomerang That Doesn’t work? A Stick
8. What Do You Call Cheese That Isn’t Yours? Nacho Cheese.
9. What Do You Call Santa’s Helpers? Subordinate Clauses.
10. What Do You Call Four Bullfighters In Quicksand? Quatro Cinco.
11. What Do You Get From a Pampered Cow? Spoiled Milk.
12. What Do You Get When You Cross a Snowman With a Vampire? Frostbite.
13. What Lies At T he Bottom Of The Ocean And Twitches? A Nervous Wreck.
14. Where Do You Find a Dog With No Legs? Right Where You Left Him.
15. Why Do Gorillas Have Big Nostrils? Because They Have Big Fingers
16. Why Don’t Blind People Like To Sky Dive? Because It Scares The Dog.
17. What Kind Of Coffee Was Served On The Titanic? Sanka.
18. What Is The Difference Between a Harley And a Hoover ? The Location Of The Dirt Bag.
19. Why Did Pilgrims’ Pants Always Fall Down? Because They Wore Their Belt Buckles On Their Hats.
20. What’s The Difference Between a Bad Golfer And a Bad Skydiver? A Bad Golfer Goes, Whack, Dang! A Bad Skydiver Goes Dang! Whack.
21. How Are a Texas Tornado And a Tennessee Divorce The Same? Somebody’s Gonna Lose A Trailer
Now, admit it . . .at least one of these made you smile.
“Integrity is important in minor matters as well as major ones. When we dig an ethical grave, it is not with a ditchdigger but with a teaspoon, one small choice at a time–a few words plagiarized, minor cheating on taxes, taking home supplies from the company, flirtations with a coworker, white lies, or even creating a false impression to impress a neighbor.”
Jerry White, “The power of integrity,” Discipleship Journal, Issue 104, March/April 1988
Even the most clever wordsmith could not craft a story with this much irony–The “world’s most advanced” nuclear submarine, the British HMS Astute, ran aground off the coast of Scotland. Supposed to be virtually undetectable beneath the seas, she ran aground transferring people to shore. So much for stealth. Not quite as astute as hoped for.
Here is a video from a news source that gives the British view of the events. Some of the headlines and comments are quite “tongue-in-cheek” funny.
Don’t you just love it when a celebrity/athlete/politician issues the “non-apology” apology? Don’t you love it when “they” say, “If you are offended, I’m sorry.” The latest installment revolves around the stars of the TV show, Glee, who did a racy photo shoot for GQ magazine.
“Glee” star Dianna Agron, who is featured alongside castmates Corey Monteith and Lea Michele on the cover of the new GQ, is apologizing for the shoot … sort of.
Agron wrote in her personal blog, “in perpetuating the type of images that evoke these kind of emotions, I am sorry. If you are hurt or these photos make you uncomfortable, it was never our intention.” Agron then makes a point that many others made at the height of Wednesday’s controversy and suggests that children maybe shouldn’t be reading GQ in the first place. “And if your eight-year-old has a copy of our GQ cover in hand, again I am sorry. But I would have to ask, how on earth did it get there?”
“Apologies” like this remind me of when I was growing up and my brother or I would get into trouble. We would act contrite and mumble, “I’m sorry.” My mom or dad would then look us in the eye and ask sternly, “Are you sorry you did it, or just sorry you got caught?”
The celebrity/athlete/politician non-apology apology says, “I’m not sorry I did it. In fact, I don’t see anything wrong with it. I’m just sorry that you are making a big deal about it. In fact, it really is your problem, not mine.”
If you are bothered by what I’ve written, I’ sorry. ;-}
In February, I will be teaching a class on the book of Joshua and the leadership principles in the book. As part of my study, I began by asking the question, “How did God prepare Joshua for the task of leading Israel?” It became evident that God used a series of graduated assignments and responsibilities to get him ready for the task. These principles can be used to help us train and mentor emerging leaders. Here is a chart that summarizes my observations.
Where do the events occur?
What was happening in this event?
What was Joshua’s role in this event?
What did God want Joshua to learn?
|Exodus 17:8-16||Rephidim||Battle with Amalek.
Joshua fights while Moses prays.
|Soldier||Work as though it all depends on you. Pray as though it all depends on God.|
|Exodus 24:9-18||Mt. Sinai||Joshua waits on Mt. Sinai while Moses meets with God.||Servant of Moses||Leaders require an enlarged vision of who God is.|
|Exodus 33:7-11||Tabernacle||Joshua is in the tent of meeting while Moses meets with God.||Servant of Moses||Spiritual leadership demands time alone with God.|
|Numbers 11:24-29||Within the camp||Elders appointed to help Moses. Joshua is jealous for Moses’ status.||Servant of Moses||Allow others to share in the ministry.|
|Numbers 13:1‑14:45||Canaan||12 men sent to spy out the land. Only Joshua & Caleb are willing to trust God for success.||Spy||Leaders need to stand for truth, even if it means standing alone.|
|Numbers 27:12-23||Before the congregation||Commissioned to take Moses’ place.||Successor to Moses||Leadership is ultimately a work of the Holy Spirit.|
|Deuteronomy 34:1‑12||Mt. Nebo
Camp of Israel
|Death of Moses||Successor to Moses||No one is indispensable in God’s plan.|
I never quite understood how the apostle Paul could set himself up as an example for people to imitate. “Brothers, join in imitating me, and keep your eyes on those who walk according to the example you have in us” (Philippians 3:17). That’s pretty heady stuff. He is either real confident in his lifestyle or he is putting undue pressure on himself.
Yet he doesn’t merely set himself as an example. He expects the same thing of his protegé, Timothy. He instructs him, “Let no one despise you for your youth, but set the believers an example in speech, in conduct, in love, in faith, in purity” (1 Timothy 4;12).
Over the past year, I have become more aware of my responsibility to do the same. As I have dealt with my own trials of vertigo and hair loss, I am aware that people are watching to see how I will respond. I need to demonstrate to my wife, children, and congregation how to walk through trials with grace and joy. I need to show what confident trust in God’s sovereignty looks like.
I’d like to go into hiding for a while and come out when the trial is over. A spiritual witness protection program with a new identity would be nice. I get tired of living in a fishbowl and being on display for a watching world.
But watch they will and watch they should. My charge is to give them a pattern to follow rather than a case study to avoid.