RSS

Category Archives: Fun

Commune Occasion

Communication is one of the biggest challenges in marriage. It is compounded by the fact that men and women use the same words but with entirely different meanings. Here is a humorous resource Carol and I have used in sermons and conferences to illustrate the challenges of communication.

*************

What men really mean

“IT’S A GUY THING” Means: “There is no rational thought pattern connected with it, and you have no chance at all of making it logical.”

“UH HUH,” “SURE, HONEY,” OR “YES, DEAR…” Means: Absolutely nothing. It’s a conditioned response.

“IT WOULD TAKE TOO LONG TO EXPLAIN” Means: “I have no idea how it works.”

“YOU KNOW HOW BAD MY MEMORY IS.” Means: “I remember the theme song to ‘F Troop’, the address of the first girl I ever kissed, and the vehicle identification numbers of every car I’ve ever owned, but I forgot your birthday.”

“OH, DON’T FUSS, I JUST CUT MYSELF, IT’S NO BIG DEAL.” Means: “I have actually severed a limb, but will bleed to death before I admit that I’m hurt.”

“HEY, I’VE GOT MY REASONS FOR WHAT I’M DOING.” Means: “And I sure hope I think of some pretty soon.”

“I’M NOT LOST. I KNOW EXACTLY WHERE WE ARE.” Means: “No one will ever see us alive again.”

*************

Words Women Use

“FINE.” This is the word we use at the end of any argument that we feel we are right about but need to shut you up. NEVER use fine to describe how a woman looks. This will cause you to have one of those arguments.

“FIVE MINUTES.” This is half an hour. It is equivalent to the five minutes that your football game is going to last before you take out the trash, so I feel that it’s an even trade.

“NOTHING.” This means something and you should be on your toes.  “Nothing” is usually used to describe the feeling a woman has of wanting to turn you inside out, upside down, and backwards. “Nothing” usually signifies an argument that will last “Five Minutes” and end with the word “Fine.”

“LOUD SIGH.” This is not actually a word, but is still often a verbal statement very misunderstood by men. A “Loud Sigh” means she thinks you are an idiot at that moment and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you over “Nothing.”

“SOFT SIGH.” Again, not a word, but a verbal statement. “Soft Sighs” are one of the few things that some men actually understand. She is content. Your best bet is to not move or breathe and she will stay content.

“THANKS.” A woman is thanking you. Do not faint, just say, “You’re welcome.”

“THANKS A LOT.” This is much different than “Thanks.” A woman will say, “Thanks A Lot,” when she is really ticked off at you. It signifies that you have hurt her in some callous way, and will be followed by the “Loud Sigh.” Be careful not to ask what is wrong after the “Loud Sigh,” as she will only tell you “Nothing.”

 
Leave a comment

Posted by on June 25, 2018 in Fun, Marriage

 

My dinosaur is my service animal

Pretty funny video with the characters from Jurassic World parodying people who claim various animals as “service animals.” I found the video to be very timely after seeing a service dog wearing a diaper sitting in business class on my recent flight from Amsterdam to Boston.

 
Leave a comment

Posted by on May 23, 2018 in Fun, Videos

 
Image

To friend or unfriend

 
1 Comment

Posted by on April 27, 2018 in Culture, Facebook, Fun

 

Internet humor

 
Leave a comment

Posted by on March 28, 2018 in Fun, Moses

 

Exam humor

I think some of my students view their weekly quizzes like Jeremy does.

As final exams approach every semester, teachers and students look to different verses in Scripture for hope. (Courtesy of Dallas Theological Seminary)

The verse of the professors, Jeremiah 17:10.- “I . . . search the heart and test the mind, to give every man according to his ways, according to the fruit of his deeds.”

The verse of the students, 2 Corinthians 13:6.- “I hope you will find out that we have not failed the test.”

 

 
1 Comment

Posted by on February 14, 2018 in Dallas Theological Seminary, Fun, Zits

 

Realistic rehab

I can certainly identify with Crankshaft’s evaluation of a physical therapist’s prescription for rehab.

 
Leave a comment

Posted by on February 12, 2018 in Fun, Health

 

Ground Hog Day humor

A little humor for the beginning of February, thanks to the writers of the comic strips B.C. & Non-Sequitur. B.C. comics are from 2016 & 2018, while the Non-Sequitur strips are from 2015, 2016, & 2018. Enjoy.

 

 
1 Comment

Posted by on February 2, 2018 in B.C., Fun, Non-Sequitur